Operation Speed Dater (part 1)

by Sue Ostler
The Flirt Diva
Tuesday, 8th December 2009

Whether you have plans to step out on a Speed Dating session, or take in a singles event, there are loads of ways to up your game. Here are the Flirt Diva's Top 5 Tips to take you from frazzled to dazzled and make an unforgettable first, fast impression.

1. Presentation

Have you checked your image up close and personal before you stepped out? Girls, how does your make-up look in natural light – no bleeding lipstick or panda eyes? Guys, have you checked for dandruff on your collar, left-over dinner in your teeth or nasty shaving gashes? What about your breath? Curry and beer breath really won't do it. Pop a packet of mints in your pocket before you leave home.

2. Approachability

Projecting the right vibe and exuding easy manners should start the moment you enter the room. Think about what your body says as you move around. It should make it clear you're not going to bite should someone approach. Are you holding yourself well and wearing a big smile? Or are you fidgeting, drinking too fast, or giving off your 'scowly face' because you haven't seen anyone that takes your fancy?

This is no place to wear your heart on your sleeve. Keep smiling regardless of what you're thinking. Even if you don't feel romantically inclined towards someone, don't diss them, it's not good dating karma and hey, you never know how many hot friends they've got.

3. Confidence

First impressions count. The first thing anyone notices is how you carry yourself and the vibe you're putting out. We clock these things subconsciously via body language and eye-contact. Make a note to be aware of yours. Make a checklist of your prize assets and be ready to showcase them. Use your eyes to give the full warmth of your full attention, your posture to convey positive body image and your smile to bask in the banter.

4. Body language/Posture

Ninety percent of what we say is dictated by our body language. It's in the big picture stuff as well as the small: the way we gesture, tilt our head and preen ourselves. Focus on the message you want to get across and make sure your body language reflects it. Pay attention to your posture. Bad posture puts out bad vibes. It's really not going to do if you're slumped over with all your body parts closed up and inward facing. Pull your shoulders back, tummy in, chin up. If you're sitting, be aware of how your legs are positioned. Are they crumpled beneath you, elegantly crossed or spread wide enough to straddle a horse?

Find the position that's both comfortable and flattering. Keep your body language open not closed (no crossed arms thanks). Don't be afraid to be animated and expressive, but don't overdo it with the gesticulating either, it might kill the moment if you send the drinks flying. And guys, since it is a fact that women generally have better instincts when it comes to sending 'signals' – pay attention to what their body language is saying.

5. Eye-contact

Strong eye-contact conveys two things: confidence and lust! If you want to let someone special know you could be interested 'in more than just coffee', hit them with the “intimate gaze”. Let your gaze drop from their eyes and take in their lips for a just a few seconds before moving back up to their eyes. Practice in front of the mirror if you've not tried it before. Yes really!

Continue to Operation Speed Dater Part 2 »

topic tags: body language, flirting, speed dating

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about the author

Sue Ostler, aka the Flirt Diva, is a recognised spokesperson in the field of relationships. Sue launched Vodka & Chocolate Love Therapy in 2004 and has since counselled thousands of women. She has been featured on 60 Minutes and written about extensively in international press including the Metro, Now Magazine, Look Magazine, New Woman, The London Paper, The London Lite, Time Out, FHM, TNT, Dare, Cosmo, Men's Health, and more.

Relationship author by day and Queen of Love by night, Sue has an undying belief that there's a Flirt Diva in every woman just waiting to burst out! Find out what Sue can do for you at www.vodkaandchocolate.com

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