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Alexis' Top 5 Tips for Online Dating Success

Alexis Thompson

by Alexis Thompson
Girl Friday
Friday, 8th July 2011

Having spent the past few weeks 'shopping' for men on various online dating websites, Alexis Thompson has become a bit of an expert on the etiquette of internet dating. This weeks she shares her list of dos and don'ts in the virtual world.

1. Do spend time choosing the right photo to use as your profile picture

The majority of people won't bother clicking on your profile if it doesn't have a picture. It will be the first thing people notice, so it's best to make sure it's a good one, which is also fairly recent. You don't want to disappoint any of your dates by turning up with grey hair and wrinkles, and looking like you've aged 10 years in the space of a week.

On most sites, if you're wearing sunglasses, hats or any other accessories which hide your face, then the picture will not be accepted. So make sure you're staring straight at the camera, flash your biggest and brightest smile, and then hit the button.

2. Don't sit back and wait for people to message you

Most dating websites will make you pay a monthly membership fee in order to send and receive messages so, if you're paying for the privilege, then you might as well use the facility.

As soon as you've paid up, start browsing through profiles, pick your favourites, and then fire off emails to them. If you send more than 10, then the chances are you'll get at least two replies - remember, this is a numbers game.

It's best to keep your messages light and breezy. Maybe mention a hobby or interest they've discussed on their profile, particularly if it's something you're interested in, and this can be your common ground to start from.

3. Do widen your net

It's best, especially with online dating, to cast your net further afield and don't just message the people who seem like your 'usual types'. Sometimes the people we think would be perfect for us turn out to be not so perfect after all, so keep a broad mind and try to message and date lots of different types.

Sometime it takes a bit of 'pick 'n' mix' dating to realise who your type actually is. And, like I said before, it's a numbers game, so the broader range of people you message online, the higher your chance of hearing back from someone and bagging yourself a date.

3. Don't tell lies in your profile

Even if it's only to make yourself sound a little better, lies have a nasty habit of coming back round and biting you on the bum, so any harmless little white lies you tell to people on the site could well be found out.

There's no point making stuff up about who you are, where you're from, and what you've done, you'll end up forgetting all the different stories you've told people. It's better to be honest if you want others to discover the real you and like you for who you really are.

4. Do put safety above everything else

The important thing to remember about online dating is that you don't really know who the person is you're messaging. You may have built up a relationship with this person through email exchanges but, if you do decide to meet them, they are essentially still a stranger.

All too often we read stories in the Press about young girls and women who have gone missing after arranging to meet up with someone they've met online. To avoid anything sinister from happening, it is best to arrange to meet them in a busy public place, which is familiar to you. Let your friends and family know exactly where you are going and what time you are meeting and send them a text message during the evening to let them know that you are safe.

DatingTrail would like to thank MySingleFriend and LoveStruck.com for providing the memberships for Alexis' research into online dating - Ed

topic tags: dating profiles, lovestruck, message, mysinglefriend, online dating, photos, safety

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about the author

Alexis Thompson

Alexis is a 27-year-old and very often, cash-strapped journo, searching for her ideal man in London. After being single for almost a year, since splitting with her first long term love, she's decided to ditch the night clubs and bars, and start finding more mature and sophisticated ways of meeting her Mr Right. Join her every Friday as she describes the trials and tribulations of discovering love in a city that has little time for romance, as well as offering advice to those in search of the same thing or who may not have realised they've already found it.

Alexis writes a weekly blog for Dating Trail. If you'd like to be be first to find out about her next installment then please follow us on Twitter or 'Like' our Facebook page for updates.

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