Come Date With Me, Episode Two: Our John’s Date with Tracey

by John Davis
Writer, Comedian and Star of Come Date With Me
Wednesday, 7th December 2011

So, four of us survived the first night’s draft pick. John H was able to get back to his busy schedule enabling him to be in the best position possible to support another woman’s future; Tracey’s Mum breathed a sigh of relief that the secret toilet behind the bookshelf was not revealed on national television; and the rest of us waved a fond farewell to the environs of Stoke and it’s resplendent Travelodge.

Now it really begins.

Last night the ‘competition’ opened with the first date – Mine.

I have to say, I’m very disappointed in you, the readers. After my first article I was hoping for some form of critical analysis of contemporary entertainment, a Baudrillardian assessment of the irony of the term ‘reality TV’. I would have settled for a brief mention of Noam Chomsky, Judith Butler or Marshall McLuhan. Even some form of hermeneutic take on the use of the word ‘bangin’ by Matt would have caused a brief twitch at the corners of my mouth.

Instead I get a few hundred Facebook messages asking how I managed to get a woman to put on a wetsuit on national television!

Okay, just for you folks. One word: Butter – Goat’s milk butter.

Happy?

But to the night itself. Some more slick editing (6 hours footage shrunk to 23 mins!!) presented us with a night that bears little resemblance to the one we contestants remember. A humorous conversation between Wayne and myself was reduced to ‘bickering’; apparently my dessert presentation was terrible; and my Gaelic ‘poetry’ rendered creepy! That’s just racist Trace!

However, the strangest thing is seeing what everyone gets up to when you’re not with them. The room search. The little comments. The first impressions when they enter your sacred boudoir. We all planted things in our rooms for the others to find of course. And we all poked around each others belongings (often guided by the subtle yet callous hand of the director-who-shall-remain-nameless) when many comments are made. But remember we’re all friends by this stage. Spending twelve hours every day in front of bright lights, a six strong crew, a camera or two, and a tortured looking rabbits foot for a boom mic hovering inches from your head tends to create a certain solidarity, an us and them mentality between cast and crew.

And yet, the camera sucks EVERYTHING in. You simply can’t escape. And as soon as that vision starts to take shape in the directors and producers minds you are powerless to prevent the sausage of a show emerging from the meat mincer of editing in whatever form ‘they’ choose. Add a pinch of the wonderful Dave Lamb and, voila, it’s goodnight to any narrative impression salad we were dieting on and bonjour to a full fat main course of true Surreality TV.

So, I emerged, relatively unscathed from my day date on the river only to be joined by three other content providers in the evening and together we give the show what it wants. It’s impossible not to.

But lets move away from the philosophizing and take a leaf from the reviewers and critics and accept that reality tv is REAL.

I did alright but the evening collapsed a little. Wayne was on top form. Will, became annoying and Matt held his own. Tracey was charming as ever and director-who-cannot-be-named seemed pleased.

Tonight however, things may change. Perhaps a relaxed, charming Irishman is relaxed for a reason. Perhaps he has nothing to lose. And why would that be? Is revenge a dish best served cold? Find out tonight. Come Date With Me, CH4, 5pm.

See you same time tomorrow for my run down of tonight's episode!

If you missed last night's episode check it out here on C4's YouTube Channel.

topic tags: attraction, come date with me, first date, flirting, relationships

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about the author

Like a modern day Moses, John Davis (formerly Jay Sivad) was rescued from under a bushel by the Dating Trail team. Cleansed of his past as a serious journalist, John emerged, the proverbial butterfly, as the country's leading dating writer. He's got practical skills too and can attest to being nation's most experienced dating host having run over 250 speed dating events for Original Dating. A stand up comedian, radio host, philosopher (it's true! He has the paperwork) and budding media personality (Channel Four's Come Date With Me), Jay turns a wry eye on the travails of modern dating and its participants.

John writes regularly for Dating Trail. If you'd like to be be first to find out about his next installment then please follow us on Twitter or 'Like' our Facebook page for updates.

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