Men: How NOT to stay single

by Julie Davies
Founder, Contact Singles
Monday, 24th January 2011

I've been running Contact Singles now for over 16 years since November 1994 and it has amazed me over the years how so many men have come to our events claiming to want to meet a partner but have made so little effort.

There are some very basic requirements if you wish to attract a female partner:

1. Always take a bath/shower and put some nice aftershave on before dressing for an event.
2. Dress according to the event you are attending. Even if it is a more casual event remember that you'll look much more presentable if you wear a smart shirt and shoes with jeans. Trainers and Polo/Air tex tops should not be worn to singles events.
3. When talking to a lady you need to make eye contact and ask her questions about herself. Leading questions which cannot be answered with a 'yes' or 'no' are the best ones to start a conversation. You do need to be interested and listen to the answer as ladies are usually very tuned in and socially aware.
4. Most important is to arrive on time for the event and you also always need to arrive on time for dates as this shows that you are reliable and this is what women want in a partner. It shows that you value the person you are meeting if you value their time too.

I cannot begin to explain how important it is to dress well as first impressions are so important. Apparently people make up their mind within the first few minutes of talking to someone whether they would like to see that person again. You would make the effort if going for an interview for a job so why not invest the same effort into attracting a partner?

If you really want to know how not to dress you need to watch the film 'The 40 Year Old Virgin'. You will note that the main character is dressed in an anorak and wears jumpers like Aunty Nell knitted along with Polo tops. If you own any of these items in your wardrobe please go out and burn them now or give them to a charity shop to send to the third world. If you have any spare money get a female friend to go shopping with you who knows how to dress. Any man who has been married has probably been dressed by his wife over the years so will leave her with a reasonable wardrobe and will not have that 'single' look about him.

Many men have been saying to me over the years that they do not know how to talk to women. My best advice is to remember that women are just people like you and have the same insecurities.

Everyone wants to be liked and to share their life with other people. Even those who claim to like being single still do not want to spend long periods on their own. Human beings are social animals and we are happiest when in the company of people who like us. To be liked you basically need to be interested in other people and considerate of the feelings of others.

Obviously this advice does apply to ladies too. It really is not good to be 'fashionably late' as some ladies say when they can never arrive on time for events or when they meet someone on a date.

I've heard stories from male members saying that they had to wait an hour before their date turned up and on more than one occasion. Maybe there could be an emergency once but certainly not on several occasions. One relationship came to an early close because of the ladly constantly turning up very late. The man said that he did not feel that she respected him and felt that he had been treated badly. Fair enough I'd say and I bet that this lady is still single.

topic tags: attraction, fashion, parties

share your thoughts...

related articles

about the author

Julie started Contact Singles in 1994 and they have become one of the most successful known singles social clubs in the country. With over 5,500 members and thousands of events under her belt, Julie is an undisputed Queen of Matchmaking. See Julie online at www.contactsingles.co.uk

see also...

• Latest dating news and advice
• Find dating events near you...
• Compare the best online dating sites