Smartphone Love Test - let your handset find you love

Let our mobile technology health check your relationship...

Sexy looking smartphones

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Research has found that Android users have IQ scores at least 20 points higher than ordinary humans (and at least 40 points higher than iPhone users). They have a very strong grasp of technology and probably understand the CPU/RAM/MHz label thingies in computer shops, where they are to be found on Saturday afternoons. These people are at the cutting edge of tech and they power the knowledge economy almost single handed. Unfortunately they also exhibit a smug disregard for more fashionable handsets which can make them appear socially inept, inflexible and dull. Whilst they achieve high connectedness scores and have at least 200 Facebook friends, these are probably people they've never actually met outside the cyberverse. They tweet in binary on average 14 times per day and check-in to Foursquare twice - once at work, once at home in their bedrooms.

Positive traits: Intelligent, individual, shrewd
Negative traits: Smug, inflexible, bad at parties

Our researchers encountered difficulties tracking down the Blackberry user base due to their globe trotting, can-do-too-busy-to-talk lifestyle. Blackberry users lead from the front in the business world and commonly have a fast paced life and extremely strong work ethic. They don't profess to understand technology but take pride in knowing their handsets are the first to get blocked first by Arab dictators in times of civil unrest - largely because their conversations are soooo important. Blackberry users typically have very few Facebook friends but they'll have at least 6,000 recommendations on LinkedIn. These people also spend more hours per day on their handsets than any other smartphone user; typically 18.6 hours, generally on the latest budget figures, which really must get done for the 5am board meeting.

Positive traits: Hard working, well dressed, ambitious, admired
Negative traits: Time poor, over-caffeinated, deaf

Scientific study of iPhone owners has confirmed this group as the most über cool, desirable fashionistas in the known universe. An iPhone is an extension of their social connectedness and popularity in a broad range of social circles, both at work and at play. The average iPhone user will have 568 Facebook friends and Tweets 96 times per day from 16 geolocations. These guys are very connected. Even in in their sleep. As a group, they earn at least 3 times the national average which explains how they afford the huge expense of a very average handset which is only 4.7% shinier than other models. iPhone users often inhabit creative or tech-based industries although their purchase of a Ferrari with an engine made by Ford leads them to over-estimate their grasp of technology.

Positive traits: Outgoing, popular, good looking, sexy, in touch
Negative traits: Easily led, narcissistic, unable to manage a budget

If you're looking for wealth, experience and a good track record, look no further than a Nokia smartphone user. While they tend to be much older than other smartphone users, typically in their 50's, they are by far the most experienced with mobile technology. They were the first in their peer group to own a handset and miss the days when phones weighed 15kg and were a symbol of wealth. Researchers were unable to establish their social connectedness. "Face what? Just ring me."

Positive traits: Experience, loyalty, steadfastness
Negative traits: Inflexible, indecisive, faint smell of pee and talc

Scientists disected the brains of 24 test subjects and are still unable to establish why this group decided to purchase a Windows 7 handset. The data did reveal this user group are often very late to parties and have a thing for face masks, fearing they may catch something virus-based. They are known to be very frustrating sexual partners, given their ability to turn things off, then on again, then off again in under two minutes. This group aspire to be socially connected but their online activity is so intermittent they are generally easier to contact by carrier pidgeon.

Positive traits: Good in a crisis
Negative traits: Paranoid, short tempered, slightly mad